I didn’t choose to move to Costa Rica, I chose to take a 5 month sabbatical to write and explore myself in December 2012 and I started that journey with just a week in Costa Rica. And then along came Adam. So moving to Costa Rica was one of the things I would have to do if I was going to say yes to love with Adam.
And there was no dating Adam to see if we would work first before jumping in, we just began our life together immediately after we met, and that was that. So there I was falling in love with a man who lived in a climate l didn’t like, in a country I knew very little about, where I only knew him and where I couldn’t work legally or offer massages in the same way I was used to.
It was a recipe for either disaster or extreme self discovery.
In my hometown of Park City, I was very well known for owning my spa and offering specialized therapeutic massage. I would charge $100+ per hour to work on some of the best athletes in the area or clients who had hard to figure out pain in their body. I was very exclusive with who I worked on and I had a wait list several weeks out.
But that same clientele wasn’t immediately available to me in Costa Rica when I moved; plus I didn’t have a space to practice out of or a table to work on…so then what would I do if I moved there?
I tried not to let that question get to me too much the first few months because I was technically still on sabbatical; a time in which I’d designated as being not for work, but more for exploration. But after a few months of my non-working time, I realized it felt like a piece of me was missing if no one was coming to me in pain and I couldn’t connect with them in a therapeutic healing way, and help them.
And my sabbatical time was coming to a close.
So then what?
And so my quest began. Who am I going to be in Costa Rica outside of the known comforts of my home town? Who am I when I’m not therapeutic Harriet of Align Spa, master of massage therapy?
There’s something quite humbling about starting over and reinventing yourself. And stressful.
And sure it was kind of romantic to give up everything I knew about myself in Utah and go exploring both who I was and who I wanted to be…but it also took courage, since the journey wasn’t a straight or paved road with directional signs.
It was more like heading down a few dead end roads that were winding and getting lost several times, and having no one to ask for directions from but myself. Because though Adam was supportive, he didn’t know what I should do with myself either.
Who were my people? And where do I go to find and meet them? Meeting new friends as an adult was more challenging than I thought. I tried going to karaoke with Adam and playing pool, but that was more his jam, and I was too afraid of the ocean to learn to surf or really enjoy myself, so I was accompanying him along activities he loved, but more watching from the sidelines. So I slipped into a bit of loneliness during a time that was supposed to be so magical, due to this new love I was experiencing.
I craved connection and real conversations, and I’d often get that while giving massages or in yoga classes.
So I started adding yoga to my Costa Rica experience, and I attended several yoga classes with different instructors around town. Sure they were nice and the locations were pretty, but I wasn’t feeling welcomed there, or a connection to the community quite yet. People would disperse after class, with me seeking a way to connect after class, and not finding it.
So then I began to host classes where we lived at la Paz Del Cielos, in a small rancho with a local teacher. I would invite people I met around town, careful not to step on any toes of the existing teachers, so I would always pick a day and time not being offered, which was Sunday.
Adam had owned a crystal shop when I first met him so we had a lot of crystals laying around the house, so I picked up his crystal book and just began to read and write about the crystals we had, and I loved what I was learning.
And then I brought the crystals to class one day, and gave everyone the option to practice with a crystal, along with a piece of paper with my handwritten notes. It opened some new conversations and I loved that, but I also noticed that the teacher who was coming to our space wasn’t getting as much from the crystals as I and everyone else was. In a way, I felt like I was intruding on her class offering. Who was the host? Her or me?
I decided to peacefully part ways with the yoga teacher and not hire anyone to come teach anymore. And then one day in April 2015 while running errands in Liberia with Adam, these words came out of my mouth…”I want to become a yoga instructor and offer my own experience out of our own place.”
There, I said it. I had the next step in my quest.
And two weeks later I was enrolled in yoga teacher training in Heredia at the Pura Vida Hotel & Spa. And I wish I could say that everything came together for me easily in that training, but it didn’t. But a few things in particular about myself and my future became quite clear thanks to that experience:
My sensitivity to energy
When I walked into my hotel suite which I would be sharing with another girl for 3 weeks something felt off. It was as though the space was dirty energetically, though physically clean. So I had a hard time feeling relaxed and at ease. When my roommate arrived I shared my feeling and she agreed, so off we went to rearrange our room and sage the space and it felt immediately better.
I’d done this a few times in my past, but I didn’t realize yet that my sensitivity to energy and my desire to rearrange spaces was a superpower, not anything to apologize for.
My feeling that I needed to activate my learning space to attract the sacred experience of learning I was seeking.
When I walked into the enormous room for our first day of class with all the other students (about 40 of us) I was officially overwhelmed. But I also had a satchel of crystals with me, and my head ring, so I set them out ahead of me and around the front of my mat, and a few behind me and I felt immediately more at ease.
And during our first break, I watched as a girl from across the room came sprinting over to me with her own crystals, and I immediately felt like I’d found someone who spoke my language of energetic sensitivity and my friendship with Whitney was born.
2. Say yes and no as you feel guided, and trust that people in positions of power don’t always know what’s best for you
Whitney and I were in different rooms but we’d spend a lot of time together in common spaces studying together. On two occasions the teacher invited us to a silent meal, but also gave us all the option to eat elsewhere, not in silence, and Whitney and I chose that. But what was interesting to see is that after the first polite no to the silent meal from us, the teacher was visibly irked that we weren’t participating, though it wasn’t required. And the second time, she pulled us aside and scolded us for not participating, though we’d been given the option to not participate, so that was confusing. And when we spoke up that we didn’t think we should be getting scolded, she got more angry, and we had to involve the second teacher to work things out with the first. It felt like an odd power struggle was playing out.
It showed me that different people have different needs from an experience, and all were valid. And also that teachers are working through their own stuff, so be compassionate, and lovingly realize they don’t always know what’s best.
3. Follow my heart, even if that means going against instructions
On the final exam day for the yoga teacher training, the instructions were to write out your class, present it to the teachers and do your best to teach by memory. I had an idea brewing in me, so I asked to go first, so before breakfast on test day, I wrote out a bunch of synonyms for love, I cut them out and I laid out mats for everyone in a large half circle, and placed the pieces of paper with the words under their mats in the front.
I gave my class list of poses to my teachers, got in front of the class and plugged into what I can only describe as something bigger than me, and I welcomed everyone to an experience I called, “Heart & Flow.” I then invited them to look under their mat to find their word, and I guided a class that was nothing like the list of poses on the sheet of paper I’d given my teachers. It was far better.
And when class was complete, and everyone emerged from savasana, I thanked everyone for being part of the first of many Heart & Flow experiences, and I got a round of applause.
I’d found how I wanted to offer my gift of yoga, and it felt like love in motion.
One of the teachers commended me for finding my own way and creating an experience incredibly unique and inspiring, and she gave me an A. The other teacher who we had problems with previously couldn’t bring herself to look me in the eye or smile, and she gave me a piece of paper with a C on it, saying I didn’t follow instructions and didn’t follow the flow I said I was going to do. Ugh. Seriously? This is how you want to teach me? Boo…
And I could have taken it personally, but I didn’t.
I hated receiving a C, but I also knew this experience didn’t define me, it was merely helping to shape me, and helping me get closer to attracting the people who were meant to be in my life, through me sharing my gift of yoga. And I could also feel this teacher was just a stepping stone, so she did help me along my journey, by helping me find my yes and no, and helping me know her criticism didn’t define me or my future.
4. If you build it they will come (Thank you to the movie, “Field of Dreams,” for this impactful phrase)
When I returned from yoga teacher training I knew in my heart I’d found a path to follow, and it was one I was creating as I went. I began to host Sunday yoga at our home and 1 class a week at a local hotel called Hotel Sugar Beach, where I’d met my husband. I’d also attend other teachers’ classes again, but this time I’d invite them to my own yoga experience.
At one particular class, a local teacher surprised me by saying she was taking 1 month off and was referring all her students to my studio, and asked if I’d teach more often, so I did. And that’s where I found my first of many regular yoga students. One in particular named Jose, was a graphic designer coming from Villarreal, and he loved that I used crystals in class, and said it was worth the drive just for that. But he offered to upgrade the experience I was offering by making me a Heart & Flow yoga logo and designing cards for each crystal, which I still use today almost 9 years later.
I’d done it, I’d started a new way to connect and reach people using my gifts, so Costa Rica began to feel more like home and somewhere I wanted to keep exploring.
Has this journey of finding how I want to serve in Costa Rica been easy? Of course not, and it's not over. I'm realizing again and again that finding who and what sticks and going with what feels like a yes is a journey in and of itself.
But I see that ceating sacred spaces for myself and others to heal, connect and grow is my favorite thing to do in this life, so I've been creating an Align, but in Costa Rica.
I needed to be thrown into a new environment to start over, but being in the safe and loving container that Adam held for me, gave me a firm foundation to have the confidence to explore and find my own way to connect and be of service.
So Costa Rica, thank you for all your lessons in shaping me, thank you to the teachers and students who I did and didn’t connect with and thank you to the crystal Carnelian, for helping to inspire this story of courage, creativity, confidence and action.
Together, it all creates magic, and that’s what I love having in my life
Cheers.
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